I am worrying Mami

I have been making Mami very worried about me lately. It is indescribable.

I have been crying every morning since last week. My preschool starts at 8:30 a.m. However, I would want to go as early as possible to school. I dislike seeing my friends in school before I come. I am paranoid that I would be late for school. Every morning, I would cry before 8 a.m., telling Mami that I am already late for school. Mami has been trying to teach me how to read the clock, but I would just ignore the clock and cry.

Secondly, I am paranoid that I would forget my homework. Everyday, before going to school, I would check my homework to ensure that I have completed my homework. Mami would always assure me that I would have done the day before. I certainly would not take her word for it. I would be rushing to check my homework in the car, on the way to my preschool.

Mami had quite a long conversation with my teachers this morning. She is beginning to be worried over my reactions about school. I believe another kilogram of weight had tumbled down on her head. My teachers commented that I am very "kiasu" and requires lots of assurances and praises. I am also very self-centred. I am good at my work and I am very pro-active in answering questions. However, I would be upset if I am not given the opportunity to answer a question. The teacher feels that I am putting too much pressure onto myself to perform in class. When it comes to Mandarin classes, I would normally cry when I am unable to read as well as my friends. Mandarin has always been the subject that I am weak in.

My teacher mentioned that I am a boy who requires lots of attention, love and assurances during classes. It is not so bad for a four years old boy, but would I be the same when I am five or six years old? I cannot expect the teachers to keep treating me like the little baby in class. It is understandable now because I am in a five-year-old class. I am the youngest in the class right now.

Am I beginning to inherit Kor Kor's "kiasu-ness"?